8

I’m in the middle of my 8th to last shift. It’s been slow so far, and I haven’t had to do a case. These slow times where there’s no work to do are in some ways welcome and in some ways dreaded. They’re welcome because it means no patients are in need of fixing and we can get paid to do some other things we like to do (like read or work on a blog!). But it means the night is going to feel as long as a week because it’s so slow.

It’s now the last day of the year. A good time to look back at 2007 and think about the highs and the lows.

Highs
(Finally applying and) Getting accepted to seminary.
(Fixing up and) Selling my house (especially in this market).
Spending time with friends.

Lows
Using my tax return to replace my leaking water line and hot water heater.
Having three contracts on the house fall through.
Having to say goodbye (for now) to so many friends and family here in Georgia.

It seems hard to sum up a year in just one short list like that. The problem is that I don’t really remember it all that well. I wrote journals through much of the year, but now I lack the time to go back and read through them all and pick out the highlights. That list does just about sum up the year, however.
 
 
 

9

In the ninth to last shift, I did only one easy case – the excision of a neck mass. But in the rest of the shift I was able to do some of the busywork that we have each night, clean up, and generally help out with the other cases. It’s nice to be helpful. And that’s really what the job of a surgical tech is all about – helping the doctors and nurses, helping the patient get better.
 
 
 

10

Counting down my shifts left at work. 10 to go.
It’s a good time to reflect upon the last 15 years and to look forward to what’s coming down the line. I’ll try to do that over the next couple of weeks.

For the 10th to last shift, we did an exploratory laparotomy on a patient to fix two hernias… one of which contained strangulated bowel. The guy had them for something like 40 years and just never did anything about them. Not a wise move in my book – they weren’t exactly small. The umbilical hernia protruded about three inches from his belly and was probably six inches across. (It was a super-outey!) It’s odd how we can learn to live with things, especially if we fear what it’s going to take to make them better. And in this guy’s case it led to some dead gut.

The second case was a laparoscopic appendectomy. Routine. We’ve done a thousand of them if we’ve done one.

Not a bad night, all in all.

I’m going to stretch some here, but those cases are not unlike the last 15 years I’ve been here at the hospital. It’s been a routine, like the appendectomy. Each week sees the same duties, same routine, same people, same doctors, same conversations, same, same, same. For long stretches it’s been a comfortable, known sameness. I like the people I work with and the job is really an easy one. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve stayed here so long. I learned to live with it, even though the night shifts have been a large drain on me.

But at some point the easiness and sameness becomes more of a detraction than an advantage. I could go on with this job and at the end of my life I’d have done some good and lived very comfortably. I’d have every possession I needed, and I’d have travelled to some beautiful places and done some nice things. Hopefully I wouldn’t have gotten into too much trouble. Hopefully I’d have some friends.

But would that be enough? Would I look back and say I’d had a good life? And what’s life all about anyway? What really makes a good life? Philosophers have been asking that question since ancient Greece. I’m not going to answer it here in a blog entry from work, I’m sure. But part of the answer has to include working hard and risk. If I only ever do what’s easy how will I know what I could have done if I’d only tried?